Hewo hewo my darlings! (๑•᎑•๑) Im in quite a fine-ish mood today, which is better than the last few days.

I did *some* progress with my sona's redesign :o i think im gunna share another WIP

This is my Radiant side, (i am actually thinking of changing her name cus it doesn't sound as good as abyss name's does). Do you likey it? (,; ⩌ ;,) there certainly is lots of room for improvement,, although that's why its a wip! (And a very long one for that matter,, i've been working on my redesign non-consistently for 3 weeks now （´∇｀''）). Hmm,, you know,, im getting closer to how i want her to look like, but there are still a few aspects missing, for instance, its a bit hard to tell that Radiant side is supposed to be a doggie! ૮ • ﻌ - ა And she isn't even making a pose, i always start making the first drawing of a character with an idle pose looking at front for reference. Also! I don't know if i wanna make her legs more animal-like or more anthro-like,, i haven't tried making them more animal-like cus i never tried!
Oh dear, and radiant side is only half of the work, there's also abyss side, so like, drawing my sona takes double the time and effort than the average! XoX

Oh welp,, moving on from that, i've been particullarly excited since yesterday's night to show a video that found me very conviniently on a momment of depression (More specifically after i finished writting yesterday's entry).

https://youtu.be/KLk-wSEBDL0?si=stIqk5YsYZZOkFDK

If you prefeer, you can also just read the transcript which i've copied down for your convenience:

Not everyone has a heart like yours. One of the hardest lessons in this life is realizing that not everyone loves the way you do. Some people would never make the sacrifice you make. They would never lose sleep over someone else's pain.
They would never forgive the way you've forgiven, remain loyal the way you've remained loyal, or carry burdens that were never yours to carry. And because your heart works that way, you expect theirs to as well. This is where so many people get hurt. They mistake kindness for weakness, loyalty for obligation, compassion for something that everyone naturally possesses. But they don't. Some hearts are driven by love, others by fear, greed, pride, envy, or self-interest.
That doesn't make you foolish for caring. It simply means you must learn discernment. Protect your heart without hardening it. Continue to love. Continue to help. Continue to be compassionate. But stop expecting everyone to value what you give. The right people will not take advantage of your heart. They'll protect it. Because a beautiful heart is one of the rarest things in this world. If you have one, don't lose it trying to give it to people who never intended to treasure it.

This,, this right here has made me finally understand something important. I for long didn't comprehend why do i almost always feel so lonely where as i can be surrounded by people i can chat with, i started to believe that friends cannot just be people that will or/and can try to listen to you when you most need it, for it is only normal that not everyone that is human has the patience and knowladge to help you as they struggle to deal with their own problems.
And so i realized, that was exactly it. Most of the very few people i've come to known in my life that have become an acquaintance of mine, they simply didn't know how to help me within all of those times where i most wanted to feel understood or listenned. Were they most actually friends in the end? I think so,,, yes,, i am leaned to believe so.
And In my case I do quite consider my own heart to be "driven by love", there are these few times where i've felt so grateful to the people arround me that i would dedicate to each of them a big paragraph dump of essentially something super positive towards them, such as how a certain friend that made great art every day without hesitation made me feel compelled to want to resume my own artworks, or how someone that i've known for years which has made me happy in their long presence emphasizing on how many times have they brought a smile to my face by making me laugh, (and then there are also times where i tear up like a baby because words can't come out so instead tears do to express my high level of comfort to everyone).
(ᵕ—ᴗ—) Okay,, i gotta confess that writting all of this is harder than i thought, although but not for the reason you might think.
It would have been much easier to write about this video's yesterday rather than now, cus,, now its harder to recall how was i feeling in more detail back then, so its not like im as in tune with my sadness as i was yesterday if that makes any sense.

Before I leave today, i wanted to thank a super-duper lot to everyone that has been reading my blog nearly everyday as of late ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I could huggie each of you because that's how happy it makes me to see the lots and lots of positive feedback my blog has been getting.
(,; ⩌ ;,) Although i gotta admitt that weirdly enough at the same time i've been feeling super-shy, which is like, super-shocking considering i've somewhat been looking forward to this kind of attention, all while i've been sharing these lots and lots of personal stuff with much confidence which is what Spotties in its totallity is all about.
｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡ I rlly would like to give a more ellaborate response than just "thanks everyone" to each of you cus it really makes me feel moved that this huge lump of text that i call a blog entry could ever bring the interest of anyone at all,, but i feel so so awkward after essentially dedicating to whole consecutive entries to me being sappy (ᵕ ó ᴗ ò), but genuenly though, thanks a lot (つ｡˃ ᵕ ˂)つ ⸝♡ do come visit me in the chatroom sometime to claim your free huggie, its of unlimited claims and will never expire ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡.

Dear reader, i apologize if todays entry might have felt a bit,,, odd, cus, i gotta say there have been times where i've been able to reflect more emotions in the words and phrases i write along than how it turned out today,, what can i say (∩˃o˂∩) translating feelings into words ain't easy for me cus there are so so many of them dwealling on my mind. Oh welp, sorry for the brain-fogging, until next time!

❤︎ Ashley.